menajae:

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When I’m an adult and have kids I will make/buy this and then ask my kids if they want some:
They’ll be all

“Um, no thanks.”
And I’m like “Are you sure?”

“Yup.”
“Positive?”

“Yes, mom.”
“Okay, then me and your father will eat it.”
And they’re all

Until I cut that bitch, then they’re all

“Oh, now you want some, right? Too bad.”

I hate it when strangers say “I don’t bite.”

Yeah, because the first thing I think when I meet somebody is “Holy shit, this bitch is gonna bite me.”

(Source: most-awkward-moments, via emmaadoodlex)